Reflections

As I sit here icing my foot in preparation for tomorrow's half marathon I can't help but shake my head in disbelief at what I'm about to do tomorrow and how less then a year ago it wasn't even a thought that would have crossed my mind.

I got up this morning; threw on some clothes that I never would have worn before because I didn't feel comfortable in my own body (not to mention that I did it without showering which is something else I never would have skipped before heading out ;) and drove down town to pick up my race packet for my first half marathon tomorrow . . . something I never would have thought possible a year ago. I was struck by how much I've changed and not just in a physical sense but mentally. I've always wanted to "learn to run" and even when I finally did I didn't think I'd ever be running 13.1 miles! I say I only want to do it once and I say I can't wait to get it over with (which I can't) but I know myself too well and I know I'll be doing it again. I'm one of those people who can't do her best; there's always something better I could have done so I'll have to do it again. I can tell you right now that as crazy as it seems to me that I'm going to be running a half marathon tomorrow as soon as I finish I'll still feel like it's not that big of an accomplishment and I can to do more; run further or faster or something . . .

I've always been that kind of person; the kind where my best can still be better, but so much of that in the past was wrapped up in my insecurities about who I was and what I had to offer other people. In the past year I've learned (and still am) that while I feel like my best can always be better it's not in relation to other people but in relation to me. I know I can do better and I want to do better; to prove that to myself and not to anyone else. This journey isn't about how I feel about myself based on what others think of me but simply about how I feel about myself.

With each goal I accomplish I'm making myself a more confident person in who I am and what I have to offer myself; each task is a stepping stone to the ultimate me, and I'm realizing along the way that possibilities truly are endless. If you'd told me last year that in less than a year I'd: be 60lbs lighter; a boxer, and a runner (among many other things!), I wouldn't have believed you . . . there's no telling what I can do next!!

Today I'm excited and confident that tomorrow I'm going to run a half marathon and when I cross the finish line I'll enjoy my simple victory, enjoy my tasty mexican food (yeah I'm so going off "program" for the day), probably contemplate running a full one; and then I'll move on to the next thing that I want to accomplish this year . . . pull-ups!!!